Month: April 2015

On the girl’s brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.

Chris Cleave, Little Bee

There is a scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams’ character, Sean Maguire, has Will cornered and he has his social services file in his hand. They talk about the abuse Will suffered as a boy, and…

My hands are shaking as I write this.

I am noticing a recurring theme in some of the comments and emails I have been receiving, and I think it needs to be addressed.  Like, immediately.

It seems as though we’ve decided there is a hierarchy of victims.  I’ve talked about this before, regarding our rape culture.  This is different.  I mean, we- as victims of sexual abuse- have decided this.  About OURSELVES.

Typing that makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.

Just within the past week, I have had two emails from women telling me their stories, stories which are remarkably similar and are, unfortunately, becoming increasingly familiar to me.

I have yet to hear a story of sexual abuse that doesn’t involve shame.  It is the singular unifying theme- there is no surprise there, sadly.  But there is a subset of stories within our collective tale…