On Taking My Own Medicine

shaunkellmft

lexapro I resisted for six months or so despite having promised myself last time this happened (the year I changed jobs and our first daughter was born) that I would probably need the extra help whenever life changed in a major way. I told myself I could do it without the help, that lots of people struggle and who was I to complain or ask for extra help. I thought I could manage by trying harder: at self-care, willing away the worried thoughts, meditating more, praying more, exercising more, journalling more.

But the anxiety went with me on vacation. The second half of my family vacation to some of the most beautiful beaches in America (Malibu, Palos Verdes, Manhattan–all in the Los Angeles area) was punctuated with intrusive thoughts about stressors, fears of failing, money worries, and guilt about worrying while I should have been relaxing (ah, “should,” how much of…

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