I’d Like To Place a Recall on Mother’s Day

Happy Fierce Woman’s Day

This is your official notice. You have less than 24 hours to return that Mother’s Day ridiculoisty and pick up a new holiday. I‘m calling it, Fierce Woman’s Day. I understand I may not be popular with some, but this day (which we will no longer speak its former name) has been officially kicked off the island.

I will never forget this moment crystalized while joyfully celebrating a birthday; just me my kiddo and a friend. We had breakfast in bed and laid around watching TV all morning. With wild hair and dressed to return to bed as soon as possible, we schlumped down into the lobby dragging ourselves to the car only to find an alternate universe waiting on us. For a moment it felt like I was watching everything through a holiday glass window at a department store. There were so many pretty people dressed in dazzling white dresses carrying white plates with brunch and mimosas. Beautiful children tugged and whined in their beautiful outfits. Everyone was equally bleary-eyed with a side of rouge and struggling with their life decision to have brunch on their so-called day.

I couldn’t believe it. Who in the hell picked this as their celebration as a fierce woman? Why would I EVER choose to spend my damn day paying for brunch? I remember staring inappropriately for a few moments bewildered with no words to describe the tragedy before me. I kept thinking, ‘if you want to celebrate me, don’t you dare ask me to get out of my pajamas!’.

So many of us had the privilege of a good enough parent. But that is simply a made up bullshit fairy tale for so many others. Their version of ‘mother’ sucked ass leading the offspring to want to hide, run and absolutely pretend this Hallmark Holiday could actually get a recall!

What kind of card do you get the sucky parent? “Hey, I didn’t die on your watch…..that was good right?” How about, “It really would have been better if you made other choices.” Or here’s my favorite, “I am participating in my obligatory duty to acknowledge that I came out of your vagina.” Could someone please make that card? Since when is motherhood so superior to womanhood? Moms can be serious badasses, but you’re no real woman unless you have kids? Last I checked, there are plenty of us who had NO business putting THAT on life’s agenda.

Life is already so hard. Really hard. Why do we need to have something else shoved in our face if it is not something to celebrate? I propose on this day to celebrate a Fierce Woman in your life instead. Find your special way to turn up the music in a woman’s life that you love. Show her just how fierce and powerful she is in this wild world of ours.

As for me and my day, I did NOT have a kiddo just to force her into expensive celebration with overpriced eggs and orange juice (that’s what my birthday is for).

So to All the fierce women in my life; I love you and could not do this life thingy without you. I send you my love and bright shiny disco lights so you may dance with abandon in your pajamas.

Juuussssstttt……. before you take a long nap.

LIVE.OUT.LOUD.

3 thoughts on “I’d Like To Place a Recall on Mother’s Day”

  1. Geez that was tough Alicia but I allow you yout thoughts. I am glad there is a day to honor women and especially their Mothers. I miss Mom more each year. You don’t need to spend a fortune to say I love you that is your choice, Happy Mother’DAy,, Mom. I will be seeing you soon

  2. Oh the cards, the cards. . . ❤️🤣Thank you for the sentiment and the giggle snorts and the harsh truth of this day for so many. I stand with you, Fierce Woman.

  3. Made my throat ache and close up just a bit. You know.. That ache you get when ur trying not to cry..? Damnit woman! 😉 ❤️

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